Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Can I color on your dick again?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
