**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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