so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
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im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
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I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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