I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
