New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
