sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
