Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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