remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
