am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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