She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
