just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
