talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
