when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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