I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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