I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
