I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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