saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize