yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
