Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
