Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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