I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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