You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
