I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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