Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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