I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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