um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
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