you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
