I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
