...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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