glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
