Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
