Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize