There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
