When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize