i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
