Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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