I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
