Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Do vagina's smell?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
