don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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