I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize