fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
