I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
