this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
