everyone is single if you try hard enough
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
