I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
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