She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
