Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
