YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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