I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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