i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
