So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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