i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
