You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
