Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You can't special order awesome
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
