turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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