ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
