I'm lost and stupid without you.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I want to fling myself into the sun
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