And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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